We’ve been working on this so hard and for so long, that we’re punch drunk, but it’s getting there: almost a full first act. Neighborhood of 30,000 words. How tired are we? Here’s our last exchange in Saturday’s Campfire, after she posted her edit of Chapter 4:

Jenny C. Speedy.

Lani D. I am that.

Jenny C. Take the rest of the night off.

Lani D. I think you should cut Shar’s scene in half.

Jenny C. Okay.

Lani D. Put the first half after Abby’s scene in 3

Jenny C. Which half do I keep?

Lani D. And then do the sleeping with Kar-en in 4.
Lani D. Both.
Lani D. You just split it.
Lani D.Two scenes.

Jenny C. Okay.

Lani D. And I cut a lot from Kar-en, but if you split them, you can probably put some back.

Jenny C. You always hated Karen.
Jenny C. What did she ever do to you?

Lani D. I don’t hate Karen.
Lani D. The scene was too long.

Jenny C. That’s not what she says when she’s sobbing in the dark.

Lani D. Nothing personal against Karen.
Lani D. It’ll be better.

Jenny C. It’s because she’s a slut, isn’t it?

Lani D. Look, I don’t judge.

Jenny C. LOL.
Jenny C.Did you show me where to split it?

Lani D. I did

Jenny C. She said, helplessly.
Jenny C. Thank you.

8:55 PM
Lani D.I laid it all out for you with instructions and everything.

Jenny C.That was really nice.

Lani D.I actually can do it for you right now if you want.

Jenny C. Have at it.

Lani D. I will.

Jenny C. You’ll feel better and I won’t have to do it.

Lani D. I’m happy to help.

Jenny C. Go, Dog, Go.

Lani D. I’ll be back with a new Ch3 and Ch4 very soon.

9:00 PM
Krissie O. I’m back. Need me to look at 4 draft 2?

Lani D. Just a minute.

Jenny C. She’s hacking at Karen.

Lani D. I’m fixing some things in 3 & 4 and then I’ll have new drafts for you.

Jenny C. Who never did a thing to her.

Lani D. I never liked that bitch.

Krissie O. Who’s Karen?

Jenny C. But she doesn’t judge.

Krissie O. A new character?

Jenny C. No, the first woman Sam screws after he rises.
Jenny C. The one who gives him the flannel shirt.

Krissie O. Oh, right.

Jenny C. Perhaps that should be “sleeps with.”
Jenny C. I think “makes love with” is stretching it.
Jenny C. “Fuck” is a bridge too far.

Krissie O. I don’t think he sleeps with them, does he?
Krissie O. He’d be literal.

Jenny C. No, Krissie, they play bridge.
Jenny C. Oh. No, I don’t think he sleeps.
Jenny C. I thought you were having an innocent moment.
Jenny C. Where was my mind?
Jenny C. Dribbling out my ears.

9:05 PM
[Lani uploads two files]
Krissie O. That ready for me, sugar?

Jenny C. She’s a wonder, that Lani.
Jenny C. Of course, Karen begs to differ.

Lani D. I think so.
Lani D. Is it a problem that Ch3 doesn’t have any Daisy?

Jenny C. Might be.
Jenny C. Any chapter is better with some Daisy.
Jenny C. And for once I’m not being a smart ass.

Lani D. Well, look at it.

Jenny C. I will.

Krissie O. Daisy’s not in chapter three? Hmmm.

Lani D. Well, Shar’s scene is two scenes, so I broke them up and put Daisy at the head of Ch 4

Jenny C. You know, there’s natural break in Daisy’s scene.

Lani D. I’m not sure it’s a problem.

Jenny C. Oh never mind. We broke it there. For the chapter.
Jenny C. Shar’s a wordy wench.

Lani D. There is a natural break in Daisy’s scene, but then with Shar’s scene in 3 it ends up being 30 pages

Jenny C. THIRTY PAGES?
Jenny C. SHAR’S SCENE IS THIRTY PAGES?

Lani D. No baby.
Lani D. Chapter 3
Lani D. 30 pages

Jenny C. Oh.
Jenny C. Thank God.

Lani D. If I don’t move all of Daisy’s scene to Chapter 4.

Krissie O. that’s a lot of pages for a chapter

Jenny C. I knew it was too long, but I didn’t think it was that bad.

Lani D. I think you would have noticed if you’d written a 30 page scene.

Jenny C. You know, tonight, maybe not.
Jenny C. I tend to love the sound of my own voice.
Jenny C. Hence all that stuff about Karen.

Lani D. I love the sound of your own voice too
Lani D. Well, the Karen stuff is good.
Lani D. It just maybe could come later in the book possibly is my suggestion.
Lani D. But then you need to send Sam away, so…

9:10 PM
Jenny C. Yeah, I should think that through.
Jenny C. I mean, she should send him away to keep him away from Kami.
Jenny C. Maybe if I take all the sex stuff out and put it in the bakery scene.
Jenny C. Or later.
Jenny C. The bakery scene is starting to look like a buffet.
Jenny C. Karen’s going to show up any minute.
Jenny C. Which actually is not a bad idea.

Lani D. You’re gonna make Daisy hate her, aren’t you?

Jenny C. No.
Jenny C. She and Daisy are going to run away together.
Jenny C. Jamie will drive.
Jenny C. And watch.

Lani D. Talk about chaos. Bow chicka bow bow.

Krissie O. Slow down, guys. We need to talk.

Jenny C. Uh oh.

Lani D. What’s up, babe?

Jenny C. Okay, I’m serious. What?

Krissie O. I’m feeling like a school teacher with Bun and Gen.

Jenny C. ?

Krissie O. How did the change come about and what is our new order of business?

Jenny C. OH.

Krissie O. Why did you decide to switch it?

Jenny C. I thought you didn’t like Bun and Gen.

Lani D. Oh.
Lani D. The scene was too long.
Lani D. It was two scenes.

Jenny C. The scene really was too long.

Krissie O. No, I love Bun and Gen.

Jenny C. And Lani said, “Do you want me to break it in half?”
Jenny C. And I said, “Sure.”
Jenny C.And then came you.

Krissie O. When did we lose Daisy in chapter 4?

Jenny C. Literally within the last ten minutes tops.

Krissie O. Or was she never in there?

Lani D. She was at the end of Chapter 3 originally.

Jenny C. When we split Shar’s scene in two pieces.

Lani D. But then I just moved those pages to the beginning of Chapter 4.
Lani D. Because Ch3 was too long.

Jenny C. You know, maybe I should just cut all of that sex stuff out of Shar’s scene.
Jenny C. How important is it in there?

Lani D. <head hits keyboard>

Krissie O. Oh, it’s chapter three that doesn’t have Daisy in it.
Krissie O. I’m getting very confused.

Lani D. I told you to cut it all days ago.
Lani D. LOL
Lani D. We’re all confused, sweetheart.

9:15 PM
Jenny C. I know you told me to cut it. You were right.

Lani D. Okay, then.

Jenny C. I’m just holding on to the old stuff too long.

Lani D. LET’S FORGET DRAFT 3
Lani D. I’ll delete them.

Jenny C. Because Shar’s main reason for not jumping Sam is because he sleeps with everything.

Lani D. Krissie don’t look and you can forget you ever saw them.
Lani D. Jenny - you go in and hack Shar’s scene.

Jenny C. Wait a minute.

Lani D. No the draft 3s are just the reversal.
Lani D. If you tighten the scene, we don’t need them.

Krissie O. Oh, I’m not objecting to the change. It’s just that my head is spinning

Lani D. All I did was cut and paste.
Lani D. So’s mine, punkin.

Jenny C. Lani, do you think any of that sex stuff belongs in the scene with Sam? Krissie?

Lani D. No. I have never thought the sex stuff belongs there.

Jenny C. Actually, we’re in damn good shape. It’s just Shar’s stuff that’s wonky.

Krissie O. What sex stuff? The stuff about sleeping with other women?

Jenny C. Because she wouldn’t ask him that?
Jenny C. Yes.

Lani D. I think his smiting Ray and her realizing that’s real is enough for her to want to separate him from Kammani.
Lani D. I believe she’d ask.
Lani D. I believe it’s two scenes.
Lani D. First scene, she goes from thinking she’s dreaming to realizing it’s real.
Lani D. Second scene, she’s doing damage control.
Lani D. Different scenes. Different goals.

Krissie O. Tell you what. I think I’ll go lie down .

Lani D. Poor Krissie.

Jenny C. So–not arguing here–she’d think she was dreaming, find out she wasn’t, and decide that she had to get him out of town. Right?

Lani D. Sorry, honey.

Krissie O. And when I wake up tomorrow you’ll have stuff ready for me.
Krissie O. How about that?

Jenny C. Yep.

Lani D. It doesn’t help that Jenny and I get punchy, either.

Krissie O. Is that ok?

Lani D. Yes.

Jenny C. Real punchy.
Jenny C. Yes.

Lani D. That’s fine, sweetheart.

Krissie O. I’m really getting punchy myself and I can’t see it clearly enough to have a coherent thought right now.

Lani D. It’s okay, babe.
Lani D. It’ll all be here waiting for you in the morning.

Jenny C. That’s a threat.

Krissie O. back at both of you. You’re goddesses.
Krissie O. Hardworking goddesses.
Krissie O. And I’m a confused slacker

Lani D. You’re not a slacker.
Lani D. Your stuff is shiny and done.

Jenny C. I think you’re right, Lani.
Jenny C. I think there’s too much Shar in there.

Lani D. About the scene?
Lani D. Yes, I’m right.
Lani D. I’ve been right for THREE DAYS.

Krissie O. Night all.

Jenny C. Night.

Lani D. Smooch.

Krissie O. has left the room

Jenny C. So you’re pretty sure you’re right, then.

Lani D. I’ve been sure.

Jenny C. Have a cookie.

9:20 PM
Lani D. But I thought the best approach was to let you eventually realize I’m right.
Lani D. The way I usually do with you.

Jenny C. Sorry, I’m dying laughing here.

Lani D. Me, too.

Jenny C. THREE DAYS.
Jenny C. LOL.

Lani D. “Gee, maybe the sex stuff doesn’t have to be in there.”
Lani D. No way!

Jenny C. I’m laughing so hard I’m crying.

Lani D. My favorite part was when you said, “Lani, do you think it needs to be in there?”
Lani D. THREE DAYS.

Jenny C. You’ew killinf mw hwew.
Jenny C. Sorry.

Lani D. What???

Jenny C. I’m laughing too hard to type.

Lani D. Is that cuneiform?
Lani D. LOL
Lani D. My eyes are tearing. I need a tissue. brb.

Jenny C. Oh, damn, that’s funny.
Jenny C. So your plan was just to wait me out?
Jenny C. The kids would have been in college.

Lani D. Yes. Just like you do with me.
Lani D. Eventually, we both figure it out.

Jenny C. Damn, I needed that.

Lani D. You just plant the seed and let it grow.

Jenny C. The dogs are looking at me strangely.

Lani D. My sides hurt.

Jenny C. I’ve still got tears.

Lani D. Me, too.

Jenny C. So, here’s an idea.

Lani D. “Oh, here’s a thought. Maybe we don’t need the sex.”

Jenny C. I’ll cut the sex stuff from Shar’s scene. No, don’t try to stop me.

Lani D. Yes, your idea.
Lani D. Karen’ll cry.

Jenny C. Karen is now officially history.
Jenny C. She goes with the sex stuff.

Lani D. Well, save it.

Jenny C. That’ll teach her to take her identity from a one night stand.

Lani D. It might work later in the book.

Jenny C. Ah, yes.

Lani D. Karens. They never learn.

Jenny C. The old “I’m sure I’ll use this some place else” rationalization.

Lani D. Hey, look, if it gets you through the night…

9:25 PM
Lani D. Which, actually, is an argument that works for Karen, too.

Jenny C. Except he doesn’t sleep.
Jenny C. There.
Jenny C. So it got her through an hour.

Lani D. You’ew killinf mw hwew.
Lani D. I need to save that.

Jenny C. Oh, funny.

Lani D. To go with eldrakso
Lani D. and buttgig

Jenny C. I was incapacitated with laughter.

Lani D. THREE DAYS

Jenny C. You know, you can read that sentence if you try.

Lani D. It’s phonetically how a three-year-old would say it.

Jenny C. Let it go, Lani.

Lani D. Can’t. Too funny.

Jenny C. The three days, it was nothing.

Lani D. The three days didn’t bother me.

Jenny C. I can tell.

Lani D. The, “Gee, maybe I should…” killed me.

Jenny C. Suck it up, Rich.

Lani D. LOL
Lani D. Sorry, it’s funny.

Jenny C. I know, I’m still laughing out loud.
Jenny C. The dogs aren’t even looking any more.

Lani D. Well, you can get used to anything.
Lani D. So. Mesopotamia.

Jenny C. So which draft am I looking at?

Lani D. Not draft 3

Jenny C. Not 3, evidently.

Lani D. I’ll delete the bad ones.

Jenny C. Thank you.
Jenny C. Those of us with cognitive problems are grateful.

Lani D. They’re deleted.
Lani D. You can refresh and it’ll be just like it never happened.

Jenny C. And I’ll go give Karen the bad news.

Lani D. Well, you haven’t slept in three days.
Lani D. THREE DAYS

Jenny C. THREE DAYS
Jenny C. Wait, wait, I’m seeing a pattern.

Lani D. Kill Karen. Get sleep.

Jenny C. Karen, we hardly knew ye.
Jenny C. Probably that’s best.

Lani D. Thanks for the shirt.

Jenny C. Shirt?

Lani D. She dressed Sam.
Lani D. Christ, Crusie, you wrote it.

Jenny C. Oh, that shirt.
Jenny C. Tomorrow, we’ll look at this and think, “You know, it wasn’t that funny.”

Lani D. Yes it was.

Jenny C. Actually, we won’t, this will still be hysterical tomorrow.

Lani D. This will be hysterical for YEARS.
Lani D. Especially if we can find the original chat where I said the sex has to go.

Jenny C. I can’t believe you kept quiet for three days.

Lani D. I DIDN’T!!

Jenny C. I know.

Lani D. I swear, look in the transcripts.
Lani D. Oh, lol.

Jenny C. I just wanted to drive you to all caps.

Lani D. I thought you were serious.

Jenny C. This is why Bob drinks.

Lani D. Well, you did. I hope you’re happy now.

Jenny C. I am.
Jenny C. it takes so little.

Lani D. The nice thing about me, I don’t need a reason.

Jenny C. Motives are for losers.

Lani D. That’s what I say.
Lani D. Everyone benefits from a low bar.
Lani D. And an open bar.
Lani D. Okay, now the jokes are just getting bad.

Jenny C. I was just thinking that. About the low bar.

Lani D. But before? We were funny.

Jenny C. Yes, we were, baby.

Lani D. All right, what are you doing tonight?

9:35 PM
Lani D. Chapter 5?

Jenny C. Yep.
Jenny C. Chapter 5.
Jenny C. The Bakery.
Jenny C. That Ate Summerville.
Jenny C. Okay, you go get some sleep. I’ll finish the bakery scene and post Chapter 5.

Lani D. OMG. You need to sleep, too.

Jenny C. Yes, but I sleep late, you get up early.
Jenny C. So it evens out.

Lani D. This is true.

Jenny C. You’ll sleep better knowing Karen’s gone.

Lani D. I always hated that bitch.

Lani D. Night.

Jenny C. Night.