X has entered the room
Lani D. has entered the room

Lani D. Hey, punkin.

X hey baby!
X i really love this book!!

Lani D. I know. I’ve been writing Daisy’s opening scene this morning, and I’m so excited.
Lani D. I love Daisy. She’s coming in so clear.
Lani D. Jamie’s too perfect, though. I need him to quirk for me to get that crunch,
Lani D. I like the three’s idea - how Jamie relates to the others. I think that’ll get me there, I just need to think about it a bit.

Jenny C. has entered the room

X okay, crunch? what is crunch?

Jenny C. There’s entirely too much lag time on Yahoo. I just got the e-mail.

X hi jenny

Lani D. Hey, honey.

Lani D. Crunch is when it clicks for you. It’s kinda like getting traction on a character of an idea.

Jenny C. when it just feels sooooooo good.

Lani D. Yeah. Daisy’s completely crunching for me. Jamie, not so much. I like him, he’s great. Too great.

Jenny C. They’re always great in the beginning.
Jenny C. They you find out they sacrifice virgins in the basement.

X yes before those lovable quirks turn into annoying habits

Jenny C. Like how did he hook up with Kammani in the first place, huh?
Jenny C. Shar is deeply suspicious.

Lani D. Flaws are what make characters crunch for me, and I need Jamie’s flaws.
Lani D. I liked the mercenary thing in the beginning - maybe I need to revisit that.

Jenny C. Well, Daisy is chaos.

Lani D. Take out the sensitive musician stuff.

Jenny C. Maybe Jamie is chaos. He just takes whatever comes next.
Jenny C. Not so much a mercenary as a person of a fortune.

Lani D. Daisy’s got flaws up the wazoo. I’ve been writing her open this morning and I love her. Clear as a bell.
Lani D. Jamie is relaxed. He’s the positive, flexible chaos.
Lani D. But maybe I need to visit the dark side of that.

Jenny C. Sure. Kammani suggests he teach a dog obedience class in a windowless room with torches and he’s never done that before. Let’s give it a shot.
Jenny C. Perhaps he could be a bit more discriminating.
Jenny C. Plus wouldn’t Jamie make Daisy feel stodgy, just by existing?

X it’s fun to put the classes in the temple that is now the ancient history dept. not sure how a dog class ended up in the college ancient hist. dept. but we can make that work somehow

Jenny C. Wouldn’t Kammani have just PUT it there?
Jenny C. Lots of classes end up in community classes at night.
Jenny C. Sorry, in community COLLEGES at night.

Lani D. Jamie does make Daisy feel stodgy; he’s also a great catalyst for bringing out her internal chaos. I think what makes him not-crunchy for me is that I haven’t seen his quirks yet.
Lani D. Yeah - I think he’s going to be really messy. His apartment - clothes everywhere, dishes in the sink. Basically - a guy.

Jenny C. Right. You’re going to have to do better than that for characterization. Bears with furniture is pretty much default for guy.

X okay, cool

Lani D. I love the ancient history department. And of all the things there, I think location is the least of their concerns. Once you accept the Kool-Aid and the torches, the rest is like, “Oooookay.”

Jenny C. Yep. It’s a slippery slope.
Jenny C. I think Kammani wakes up, gets a look at the 21st century, and thinks, “What a mess.”

X yes, okay, with the caveat that you can only expect the reader to suspend disbelief for so long. like in that Van Helsing movie, i was fine with a lot of stuff, but not the 16th century chick in full makeup and a Wonder Bra. but vampires? sure! lol

Jenny C. I thought the torches might be too much.

Lani D. Yeah; I need to spend more time with him. Find out what makes him tick. I’m just not as connected with him as Daisy.

X the torches are a bit much

Lani D. I think the torches make the Kool-Aid look tame.

Jenny C. So what you’re saying is the torches have to go. LOL.

X besides it’s funnier with fluorescent lighting, which would just piss K off
X no ambiance
X which is great, she can build to it. the arc of the lighting.

Jenny C. Oh, God, fluorescent lighting. Shar’s gonna look like the crypt keeper.

Lani D. I like the torches. It’s over the top, but it’s the kind of thing Kammani would need to feel comfortable. She would make it hers.

Jenny C. Absolutely on the arc of the lighting; shows how she’s claimed the space.
Jenny C. What kind of lighting would they have put in a storeroom over the centuries?
Jenny C. Way back when Great-great-great somebody was building the damn thing, it was a secret temple, but then they forgot over the centuries?

X what was that sort of dim, hanging bulbs light that was in the giant federal storeroom where all the stuff on the X-files always got buried? that would be good, maybe

Jenny C. So there’s one hanging light bulb hanging down in the middle of this altar room with the bas reliefs on the wall. I’m keeping the bas reliefs.

X love the bas reliefs. yes, we’d probably need more lighting
X so they’re not sitting around in the dark

Jenny C. What if she brought in the torches, so there’s this one light bulb hanging down from the center and then the torches?
Jenny C. I’m not holding onto the torches, there’s just something about the mix.

X if you’re dead set on torches, okay, but i still think it’s weird and might be a little jarring.

Jenny C. I’m not set on torches at all, truly.

X if jamie is a musician, maybe has some sort of stage lighting? K would love to be in a spotlight, even a simulated one

There followed much lighting discussion and then . . .

Jenny C. What do you think about the other four priestesses being Birth, Death, Fertility, Harvest, whatever?
Jenny C. I was really getting an icky feeling about all the sex imagery.

X yeah, dont’ want too much icky

Jenny C. When I was thinking about Sam being the dying god, I realized it meant that Kammani was a fertility goddess.
Jenny C. So she’s not sex, she’s sex and fertility and birth and harvest and death.
Jenny C. Which meant that our three are the big three of sex.
Jenny C. But the others could be birth, death, harvest, fertility, whatever.
Jenny C. So it wouldn’t be SEX SEX SEX SEX.
Jenny C. Especially since Shar is walking around for most of Act Two coming her brains out.

X i like that a lot bc i thought we were getting carried away on the sex
X while walking around?? that’s a neat trick.

Jenny C. Well, she’s ecstasy.

X lucky her

Jenny C. Not really.
Jenny C. Until she learns to control it, it’s almost like having hiccups.
Jenny C. Except more.

X now THAT can be inconvenient
X I think I, personally, am Indigestion. or Insomnia.

Jenny C. I’m probably Distraction.
Jenny C. Or Annoya.
Jenny C. No, it’s Annoia. The Goddess of things that get stuck in drawers. That’s from Pratchett.
Jenny C. I was just getting a real ICK feeling with all the sex.
Jenny C. Especially since Sam was screwing everything that moved.
Jenny C. Back to Kammani.
Jenny C. I think she wants to save the world. HER way.
Jenny C. She sees herself as a goddess called back to save the world.
Jenny C. Goddess knows, it’s in a mess.

X sure, her version of saving it is to get it back to a purer time
X everybody worships her and crime is over, etc.

Jenny C. Exactly.
Jenny C. People are hurting each other.
Jenny C. They’re miserably unhappy.
Jenny C. She watches daytime TV and she’s appalled.

Lani D. Oh - and not to bring back a sore point - but I vote for torches, I think Kammani would be like, “Fuck the fire code, we’re doing it my way.”
Lani D. Now I’ll shut up and go with majority rule.

X who wouldn’t be? i always think if aliens tune in to Jerry Springer, our planet is toast

Jenny C. One hanging light bulb in the center and torches in the brackets along the wall where they used to be?
Jenny C. How freaked out would the students be?

X yes, okay, but here’s my thing about the torches in the first class and then i’ll shut up

Jenny C. How freaked out would Jamie be? Although he’s a go with the flow guy.

X no way is Angel going to go along with this. torches, koolaid, weird necklaces

Lani D. Nothing fazes Jamie.

X she would turn around and find another class. hell, *I* would turn around and find another class.

Jenny C. How about if she adds them in later classes.

X if it’s a gradual thing, and by the end there are torches and chanting and what the hell ever, that would work for me. but this just clunks.

Lani D. Yeah, but isn’t everyone kinda seduced? I don’t think this is what any of our girls would normally do.

Jenny C. By the second or third class, the three are coming back because they know something’s up and they’re trying to stop it.

X I mean, seriously, would either of you stay for a class with torches?? the idea is creepy to me for some reason

Jenny C. I think maybe what X is saying is that if she walks into a room with torches, she’s turning around and walking out. No time to be seduced.

X yes, but seduction is a gradual thing. not, bam, walk in the door
X jenny, quit reading my mind. lol
X if it were a belly dancing class or something, yeah
Jenny C. It’s bad enough that it’s a room without windows with weirdass bad reliefs on the wall and what could be construed as an altar in the middle of it even if it does have a checked tablecloth over it with dog cookies and a pitcher of Kool-ade on it, the torches would be the deal-breaker.

X plus, last thing and i’ll shut up i promise. dogs would be freaked out by torches. my dogs bark incessantly at a flickering candle!!

Lani D. Yeah, I guess. The torches made me laugh, though.

Jenny C. So she has a collection of floor-lamps in there. And the one bare bulb hanging from the ceiling. Which stays there throughout. And the torches come in gradually.

X Gradual Torches. another fine book title.

Lani D. But if there was a different kind of lighting in the special places where the torches would go in the traditional ceremony, I can go with a lighting arc.

Jenny C. So by the third class, she’s not pretending anymore, it’s full out torches and the one bare bulb.

Lani D. Plus, it will add extra dimension to the climax.

Jenny C. It’s the bare bulb I’m loving.

X very X-files, war criminal interrogation

Lani D. The bare bulb is funny.

X and the dogs are enthralled enough by then that they don’t even notice flickering torches

Jenny C. If we set the scene and then strip more of it away with each class so that by the end, there are torches and Mina’s dressed in a headress, and the altar is lit up with flames around the base and there’s a lute player . . .I”m riffing here. It’s like HGTV, The Underworld Version.

X and each of the attendees is stripped more and more bare of everything but her essence

Jenny C. I kind of hate to lose Death. She could be a real hoot. Maybe Mina is Death. Let’s keep Death around.

X so all civilized trappings are gone

Jenny C. Maybe Harvest goes. Cut off at the knees.
Jenny C. Bad joke.

X She could kill potted plants as she walks by them

Lani D. I think Mina is too cool to lose; let’s make her death.

Jenny C. Oh, god, yes,I love that.Death would be such a great Minion in the Kammani scenes.

Lani D. And the thing about Death is that if she goes, what’s to miss? Someone that kills things.

Jenny C. Kammani and her little friend, Death.

Then we decided that “Harvest” was not a good goddess and spent a lot of minutes trying to figure out a different one until . . .

Lani D. Vitality

Jenny C. That I like.
Jenny C. Vital, life.

Lani D. That’s the word I was looking for.
Lani D. Ah, I feel so much better.

Jenny C. And she sells vitamins.

Lani D. LOL

Jenny C. That’s what she keeps hassling them about.

Lani D. YES! Health nut.
Lani D. Proselytizing.
Lani D. YES!

Jenny C. They’re not getting enough of whatever.

Lani D. Tallie

Jenny C. Each of them has a different deficiency.
Jenny C. They’re not THRIVING.

Lani D. Yes!
Lani D. LOL - perfect

Jenny C. She’s a really nice pain in the ass.

Lani D. Annoying, but you kinda feel bad for her.
Lani D. She meant well.

Jenny C. Everybody’s hair was prettier.

Lani D. Yes!

Jenny C. The worst thing you can say about everybody: She meant well.

Lani D. So, you’d appreciate that your hair got nicer, but still…

X Birth. Vitality. Fertility. Lust. Chaos. Ecstasy. Death.
X It works

Jenny C. Exactly. You wanted her to sit next to you at prom. And not talk.

Lani D. I like it.

Jenny C. I do too. And it’s not SEX SEX SEX. Thank you.
Jenny C. So wouldn’t the progression be:

Lani D. Yes, we needed balance

Jenny C. Okay Tallie and Mina. Two down.

X okay, so Mina’s dog should be the Rottweiler or a slavering wolfhound = or we go the opposite and Death has a chihuahua or shih tzu

Lani D. Vitality should be one of those big fluffy dogs with all the fur.

Jenny C. Death has chichuahua?

Lani D. Death had the greyhound, I thought.

X and Tallie? either a really boisterous yappy dog or opposite like a bloodhound. lol

Jenny C. Sorry, I just collapse laughing here. Death DEFINITELY has a chihuahua.

Lani D. Death has a Chihuahua. Also another great book title.

X i think the opposites would be so funny

Jenny C. Do they come in black?

X like death chihuahua
X yes, they can be black and have long hair so they look like tiny dust mops

Lani D. Hey, it’s our book. If we want a black Chihuahua, there you go.
Lani D. Or she dyes it

Jenny C. His name is Mort.

X and vitality has a bloodhound that never wants to get off the porch

Lani D. YES!

Jenny C. She feeds him vitamins.

X YES!! BLOODHOUND VITAMINS!!

Lani D. There we go.

X and death’s chihuahua is delicious. FEAR ME, he yapped

Lani D. Okay, Death’s Chihuahua is just killing me. If they don’t go for Dogs and Goddesses, can we call it that? Pretty please? LOL.

X FEAR ME
X Plus chihuahuas have that thing where they shake and tremble all the time

Jenny C. Okay, two more dogs and goddessess to go here. Birth and Fertility. I’m afraid.
Jenny C. Okay Tallie sold vitamins and Mina was a student.
Jenny C. Birth. What’s her name.
Jenny C. When she walks by, things bloom?

X Genny? for Genesis?

Lani D. Fertility, Abundance, a bun in the oven… Bunnie?

Jenny C. I like all of those.

Lani D. Bunny.

Jenny C. Bunny.

X bunny works for me!

Jenny C. Fertility.
Jenny C. Whoops I’m confused again.
Jenny C. Bunny is fertility or birth?
Jenny C. Fertility. Bunny has to be fertility.

Lani D. I was thinking of Fertility, I think.

Jenny C. Who’s Birth? Genny?

Lani D. OBGYN Genny? Love it.

X okay. then Genny could be birth

Jenny C. Okay, Bunny is fertility, Genny is Birth.

X you know, there could be funny interplay with the dogs, too. Death’s chihuahua yapping FEAR ME and one of our dogs steps on him.

Jenny C. It’ll have to be one of your dogs. Wolfie is built low.

X we lost Lani again

Jenny C. Huh. her internet connection?

X i think so

Jenny C. Tell you what. You have to go play with the kids and she’s having a heck of a time. Let’s call it a day, and I’ll go put this in the minions file. And we can all make changes to that file and add comments as we go through. We got a lot done here.

X okay, sounds great!! this was really insanely productive
X oh, there she is!

Lani D. Sorry guys; wonky internet

Jenny C. Poor baby
Jenny C. I can stick around while Lani reads the previous stuff.

X we lost Lani again

Jenny C. Damn.

And Lani never did make it back on so that was it.