The idea of collaborating came early in January and instantly the three of us - me, Jenny and the mystery author we’ll just refer to as X - had great fun with the idea. This is the transcript of the very first ever Dogs and Goddesses chat, in which we name the book and Ummi and Bikki get their start, if not their names. Although, really, I’m ready to revisit Firebutt and Crotchrot. Girls?

Jenny C. has entered the room

Jenny C. So structure.

Jenny C. Trouble Starts:

They all go to their dog obedience class. It’s been a rough week Something Happens and the trouble starts, the goddess makes her move.

During the first act, she begins to possess them, they can hear their dogs talk, they begin to spread chaos or whatever first in their own lives (they turn lustful,chaotic, angry, whatever) and then they begin to wield the power to those around them, they go to the third class and notice the other four are acting weird as hell, especially one who’s rebellious, acting out, and oh, yeah, they can hear the other dogs talking.

Lani D. has entered the room

Lani D. I’m having so much fun, I can’t even tell you.

X has entered the room

Lani D. I’m just so jazzed creatively. It’s buzzing into my other work, it’s great.

Jenny C. And the gang’s all here.

Lani D. X!

X wahoo!! pajama party!!

Lani D. Nobody puts my bra in the fridge, okay?

Lani D. brb - gotta refill my water bottle…

Jenny C. So we put her underpants in the fridge.

Lani D. I’m back. Fish says hi, by the way.

Jenny C. Tell Fish I adore him and the ground he’s not smoking on.

Lani D. I will. He’s doing really well. I’m so proud of him.

Lani D. Whenever I’m out and about, he calls me and asks for a pack of smokes, and I bring him a pack of gum.

Jenny C. And he never knows the difference.

Lani D. Nope. Lights the sticks up and wonders why the fire alarm goes off. Ah, Fish.

X okay, this story of ours is freaking awesome.

Lani D. I KNOW! It’s like we’re magical goddesses or something.

X we need to come up with a rocking title.

X because Saturdays at 10 worked for a women’s fiction but no way for this

Lani D. Yeah, we really torqued your idea, didn’t we? But it’s a great one.

X no, it’s OUR idea now. all i had was dogs and a setting. lol

Lani D. I’m crap at titles. Remember “Flipping the Bird”? Great title. Would never sell. I like Dogs and Goddesses, but I think we need something more snappy.

Jenny C. Yep. Something about magic, dogs, goddess . . .

Jenny C. something, sexy and magic and snarky with some fuck you in it.

Jenny C. Mad as hell and not going to take it any more, goddess rising,

Jenny C. Actually, I like Dogs and Goddesses.

X I like D&G, too

Lani D. I think Dogs and Goddesses can be a good working title.

Jenny C. So we’ll each have about 30K to do. Then the work we do is like this where we get together and put it together and rewrite it as a novel, and that takes time, but the upfront stuff? There just aren’t that many words that we each get.

Lani D. Wow. I keep forgetting it’s only 30k each. It’s gonna be hard sticking to that, but then there will be darlings to kill.

Jenny C. That 30 K is why the structure is so important. Within that 30K they have to discover they can hear their own dogs talking, over hear the other dogs, discover each other, meet their guys discover the goddesses plan, get seduced over to her because of their careers (or however we plot this out) realizes how their guys are linked to the goddess and work out the kink in the romance, fight back against the goddess, rescue each other and have a showdown and live HEA. 30K.

Lani D. I think the key to getting it all in 30k is to keep everything as simple as possible. Which is always a problem for me - I convolute like mad. This will be a good experience in a lot of ways for me.

X you know, that sounds like a lot, Lani, but I actually write 25K novellas that have more than one subplot in them. It can be done

Lani D. I’ve never written a novella, so it’ll be new. But I’ll pick it up. I’m really not *that* worried.

X so are we agreed that we’re going to let our goddess live at the end?

X being worshipped in some very scaled-down way?

Lani D. I’d like to. But I’m open to whatever works best.

Jenny C. I think so. She doesn’t have the power to flay men alive but she’s so hot that it doesn’t matter.

Jenny C. The only thing is, if she kills somebody, she’s going to have to pay for that.

Lani D. So she redirects her energies.

Lani D. There has to be some way to make sure she doesn’t rise again

X yeah, she can’t get away with murder. and no dogs can die, in any way.

Lani D. LOL

Lani D. Yes, no harming of dogs or children.

Jenny C. No dogs die. Her dogs end up in the obedience class at the end.

Jenny C. Maybe they talk in Roman Caps, too. I’m stealing that from Terry Pratchett, it’s too damn funny. Plus that way you can tell when they stop being gods.

Lani D. I like that.

Lani D. I think I need to read some Pratchett.

X the Siamese cats in Lady and the Tramp? that kind of personality for her dogs

Jenny C. Maybe. Only dogs so not slinky. More supermodel types.

Jenny C. Pick out the green M&Ms and alert the media?

Jenny C. Bow before me mortal. And scratch behind my ears.

X oh, too funny. they could be Chihuahuas like the paris hilton dogs

Jenny C. Actually, I can see Wolfie falling for one of them TOTALLY.

Lani D. Are they collies with those long patrician snouts?

Jenny C. I was trying to think of what the statues of the sacred dogs looked like. Must go do research. I kept thinking whippets.

X somebody needs one of those Mexican hairless or Chinese crested dogs. those are hilarious

Lani D. The Chinese Crested are just freaky weird dogs; they are inherently funny.

Jenny C. You know how supermodels always fall for the crazed musicians who get into fights? Wolfie.

Jenny C. Wolfie and a Chinese Crested.

Jenny C. Although how a Chinese Crested got to Mesopotamia is beyond me.

Lani D. Oh, the puppies they would have…

Lani D. Bailey would just annoy the crap out of those dogs.

Lani D. And he’s definitely too hyper for a relationship

Jenny C. I think Bailey hooks up with one of the goddess dogs.

Lani. She’s annoyed but then she falls, like Claudette Colbert in It Happened One Night.

X [suggests her female dog have a one night stand with one of the temple dogs] it’s a lust thing.

Lani D. I could see maybe a one night stand. And she’s shamed.

Jenny C. Not the goddess’s dogs, they’re female.

Jenny C. Although a little lesbian love would not go amiss here.

Lani D. Lesbian dogs. BEST. SELLER.

X oh, there goes the red states.

Lani D. No, we’re okay as long as we don’t let them get married.

Jenny C. Wouldln’t they see all the dogs as beneath them?

Jenny C. And then the charms of Wolfie and Bailey get to them.

Lani D. I think the goddess dogs would expect all the dogs to bow before them, wouldn’t they? But the guy dogs would have to lust after them.

Jenny C. Now we have to not only name a goddess, we have her two dogs to name.

X her dogs could be named something like Death and Chaos

Jenny C. And Disney puts their pictures on sippy cups.

Jenny C. But they’d have nicknames.

Lani D. What if her dogs had long translated names as well. But then they were just something for short.

X DeeDee and Cee Cee. Ooh, Lani, I love that

Jenny C. Absolutely.

X the long translated names thing

Jenny C. And the short forms end up being Boopsie and Cupcake.

Jenny C. Or DeeDee and CeeCee.

Lani D. Like “Creature Before Which All Canines Will Humbly Bow.” But just call her Poopsie.

X boopsie and cupcake. you are killing me

Jenny C. Actually, if our girls are doing the translating, they can call them anything they damn well please.

Lani D. Firebutt and Hello Kitty.

Lani D. Paris and Nicole.

Jenny C. Oh, God, Paris and Nicole. Too perfect.

Jenny C. You know, maybe they keep giving them names and the dogs take them and then get smarter and come back and say, “We know that was wrong,” and then they give them other ones. “We know Fritter and Cupcake are not names that deserve respect. We demand names that are not pastries.” “Okay, Firebut and Crotchrot.”

Lani D. Crotchrot. OMG!

[And it went downhill from there.]