This is the chat from the night before this website went live, edited for clarity and tact. It’s not our first chat, but that has spoilers in it, so we’ll hold onto that until you’ve read the scenes. The thing to remember about the chats isthat they’re chats, not focused discussions. This transcript was not edited for repetition or self-congratulation. There is no focus. We wander. Then we tell each other how great we are. Then we wander. Then we return to how great we are. Do not expect insight or excitment here although it’s only a matter of time until one of us spills Diet Coke into a keyboard.

May 27
8:10 PM
Krissie O. has entered the room

9:00 PM
Lani D. has entered the room
Lani D. Krissie - are you here?

Krissie I’m here.

Lani D. I thought I saw Jenny in the other room, which is weird.

Jenny C. has entered the room

Krissie Do you want to go see if Jenny’s there? She’s on-line – I got an e-mail at 8:30 (just finally got to it).

Jenny C. Boy do I feel dumb.

Lani D. Hey, Jenny!

Krissie O. Hi, Jenny!

Jenny C. I can’t believe I did that.

Lani D. It was funny because I came to the main screen and I saw you each in different rooms and couldn’t figure it out.

Jenny C. I’m thick.

Krissie O. I’ve been sitting all alone in the room wondering where everyone was. You were in the other room?

Jenny C. Too damn many rooms.

Krissie O. Me being alone in the room? I just caught up with the e-mail when Lani clinked in.

Jenny C. Anyway, we are glorious.

Krissie O. So no problem.

Lani D. We are glorious.

Krissie O. So guys, I’m going to suggest a little trade-off.

Jenny C. Trade-off?

Lani D. Go for it, Krissie.

Krissie O. Since you two are …

Jenny C. Darling.

Lani D. Fabulous.

Krissie O. I’m trying to put it tactfully. It’s not what I think, it’s what you’ve called yourselves.

Lani D. Controlling?

Jenny C. Controlling?

Krissie O. Er … power mad? Controlling? In charge?

Jenny C. LOL

Krissie O. LOL! Yup.

Lani D. Right. I cop to all three. Oh, yes, also darling.

Jenny C. I think we’re unanimous on Controlling. But darling.

Krissie O. And since I’m so nice, the trade-off is could you guys just remind me when I have to do things for the website?

Jenny C. Of course.

Krissie O. I’m juggling a lot of things and poor Jenny had to remind me on UMF each time.

Lani D. Oh, sure.

Krissie O. I hate being unreliable but …

Lani D. Oh, punkin, seriously. No problem.

Krissie O. afk

Jenny C. We have the last version of your scene.

Lani D. If you want, you can just e-mail it to the loop, and then we’ll put it up when the time comes.

Jenny C. afk? Is that a typo or an acronym?

Lani D. or are you choking?

Jenny C. Well, I WONDERED. Except people don’t usually type when they’re choking.

Lani D. This is true. But when they choke, they say, “afk.”

Jenny C. She is strangely silent.

Lani D. I’m a little worried.

Jenny C. Me, too.

Krissie O. here I am

Lani D. afk must mean something, like brb

Krissie O. afk is away from keyboard

Lani D. Oh, there she is!

Jenny C. Well, that’s good because I don’t know how to do the Heimlich in a chat.

Krissie O. What were we talking about?

Jenny C. Afk. I thought it was that duck

Krissie O. Oh, yeah, if you could just prompt me when I’m supposed to do something then I can do it.

Lani D. Wait. Before that.

Jenny C. From the insurance commercial.

Krissie O. LOL.

Lani D. Oh… controlling… power-mad…
Lani D. Aflack!

Jenny C. Right. She wants us to control her.

Lani D. Which we’re perfectly happy to do.

Krissie O. Yes, please control me!

Lani D. After we fight each other to the death to see who gets to control you.

Jenny C. Whips. Chains.

Krissie O. Point me in the right direction and push a button.

Jenny C. I’m not that kind of girl.

Krissie O. Then I don’t need to feel guilty.

Lani D. Honey, no problem. Really. If that’s all it takes to make up for our madness, it’s no problem. No guilt at all, Krissie.

Krissie O. Actually when I was a kid I thought a man slapping a woman was hot. Happened all the time in the movies.

Jenny C. You still think a man slapping a woman is hot.

Krissie O. Damn, you’re right!

Jenny C. It’s okay, baby.

Krissie O. I’m sitting here chuckling.

Jenny C. That’s Three Goddesses. Laff RIot.

Lani D. I always sit and laugh during these chats. Adam always comes in wanting to know what the joke is and I can never explain it.

Krissie O. So, is the website live?

Lani D. It’s live, we’re just not telling anyone.

Jenny C. I told Eileen so she could see her post. Never tell me anything.

Krissie O. I was about to say something. Are we going to post these chats? Will we get a chance to edit them?

Jenny C. No, this is going up on the web. Boy are you screwed.

Krissie O. Bitch

Jenny C. Smooch.

Krissie O. Smooch back atcha

Jenny C. But as I keep saying, you don’t have anything you have to put up there.

Krissie O. I checked out the Brisbane hotels — they both look cool. I think Lani should come too.

Lani D. I should go where?

Krissie O. To Australia and NZ with us.

Jenny C. Krissie and I are going in August for two weeks.

Lani D. How fun! Wish I could go, it would be fun.

Jenny C. We’ll take pictures.

Lani D. Oh, please do!

Jenny C. We’ll all go again when Dogs and Goddesses becomes a HUGE hit.

Krissie O. We’ll be grand divas! Hell, we are grand divas.

Lani D. I expect nothing less. Tiaras all the way.

Jenny C. Goddesses. Better than divas. Divas are mortal.

Lani D. Way better.

Krissie O. So true.

Jenny C. Well, I love the site.

Lani D. I love it too!

Krissie O. It looks great. Love the undulating sand.

Jenny C. It’s gorgeous and I love the dogs. And I love it that it’s both the name of the book and us because we’re goddesses who talk about dogs. I like the way we’re doing this. I like the idea of making it a community thing. This is just so freeing.

Lani D. I like it, too. I think there’s something about the angle we’re taking that’s really pretty cool.

Krissie O. Absolutely.

Jenny C. Plus this is an event site. It’s not selling anything. It’s a reality show website, it’s entertainment.

Lani D. Right. It’s like a reality show on the web.
Lani D. LOL. Great minds, etc.

Krissie O. I think I need to organize myself.

Lani D. Maybe we should do confessionals. You know, like they have on the shows.

Jenny C. LOL.

Lani D. Where the people sit in the closet and talk to the camera. Except we won’t say anything mean. Because we have class.

Jenny C. I LIKE doing this. It’s fun for me. As in “Here’s a random thought I had about Mesopotamia.”

Lani D. I like it, too.

Krissie O. Fun for me too.

Lani D. It’s writing without publishing. It’s heaven.

Krissie O. And I’m fast when I pay attention.

Jenny C. It’s actually kind of a reflection of the collab.

Krissie O. I just need to remember to pay attention.

Jenny C. Lani and I go a mile a minute and then you slip in something sly on the quiet.

Lani D. And the Divine Thoughts can be short. Like, “I need Daisy to have a job on a campus that’s anal. Web coding. What might she do?” And see what I get.

Jenny C. Oh, yes!

Lani D. Little divine thoughts.

Jenny C. And God knows we have enough plot holes.

Lani D. Like Jack Handy’s deep thoughts. Seriously.

Krissie O. Yes, indeed.

Lani D. Or if we have a good day, write a great scene, hop on in Divine Thoughts and shout out. Just say, “Yay! I wrote 2000 words on Abby and it’s awesome!” Short little posts with reality.

Jenny C. Because it’s happening as they read, the book is really in progress and they’re getting to participate.

Lani D. I’m good with putting it up now. I mean, hell. Let’s blow the lid off this baby.

Krissie O. I don’t see any reason to delay.

Lani D. Let’s do it! I’m so excited! I suck at secrets, this is gonna be fun.

Krissie O. BTW, I think I need to be inducted into the Cherries.

Jenny C. You are a Cherry. There isn’t an induction.

Lani D. You just need to hang out and start posting, that’s all. They’re cool girls.

Krissie O. But remember I’m your Krissie-bot. Point me in the right direction.

Lani D. Oh, yes!

Krissie O. And he’s wearing his coat! speaking of bots.

Jenny C. It’s Spike. God, that was great.

Krissie O. Sigh. Yup. Love that line. We never knew how vain he was about the coat until he programmed the bot.

Jenny C. Oh, we knew.

Lani D. We’ll have to put Buffy in one of the headers. Have a week where we talk about Buffy.

Jenny C. He was all about the coat and the hair.

Krissie O. True. That’s why it was so funny.

Jenny C. Worship Buffy Week at D&G.

Lani D. Right.

Jenny C. Ooooh, we could do a goddess post on her. She is a goddess.

Krissie O. And we can do worship VM (or maybe just Logan)

Lani D. Buffy totally is a goddess.

Jenny C. How much fun would that be. A Buffy week.

Krissie O. VM’s a goddess too. More troubled than Buffy.

Lani D. Oh, VM. I’m sad. Logan. Sigh.

Jenny C. We could each post our fave eps and lines.

Krissie O. Oh, yes!

Lani D. We can talk about strong female characters.

Jenny C. Theme Weeks on D&G.

Jenny C. Veronica Mars.

Lani D. How we want our characters to be heroic.

Jenny C. Heroes.

Lani D. Oh, theme weeks. That’s great.

Jenny C. So much fun. It’s not promoting anything that’s coming out, just fun.

Lani D. This is fun.

Jenny C. It’s just us egging each other on to be immature.

Lani D. So - public. When? Tomorrow?

Jenny C. I love the idea of Bailey as the icon.

Lani D. I am always mature.

Jenny C. That leaping dog is too damn funny.

Lani D. I know, every time I see it, it makes me happy inside.

Krissie O. It is.

Lani D. I love Bailey.

Jenny C. I think you should move the pictures of Bailey around so that’s the first one and then explain the moose.

Lani D. Lynne (Bailey’s mom) is gonna love it.

Jenny C. They might not get the moose.

Krissie O. Tomorrow’s good for me.

Jenny C. As in, “Bailey lives in Alaska.”

Lani D. Right, I’ll do that.

Jenny C. Tomorrow’s good for me.

Lani D. Okay - so announce it on all our websites?

Jenny C. Yep.

Krissie O. Cool. I blog on Storybroads tomorrow and on Drama Queen on Tuesday.

Jenny C. Krissie, you NEED another blog.

Krissie O. Can you put my scene up, Lani?

Lani D. I can put your scene up, sure. Okay - so let’s decide now and then I can do everything tonight so it’s ready in the morning.

Jenny C. Well, how about the intro and then Bailey who’s our icon and then Eileen and then Abby’s scene.

Krissie O. Or I can practice. But maybe to begin with you put it up and then I’ll play around with it.

Jenny C. Great. I’ll get the transcripts. And then tomorrow we announce?

Krissie O. yes, please.

Lani D. Tomorrow we announce!

Krissie O. Yup.

Lani D. Yay!

Jenny C. Yea, US. We should have a goddess chant.

Krissie O. We’re entering a brave new world!

Jenny C. With such glorious people in it.

Krissie O. Indeed. (just so you know I know my Shakespeare as well as Buffy)

Lani D. I only know the comedies. But I love them.

Krissie O. This is going to be glorious!

Jenny C. I don’t think my cap was right, though.

Krissie O. Hamlet’s wonderful.

Jenny C. Such a brave new world to have such people in it? Is that right?

Lani D. I do know Hamlet, but that’s it.

Jenny C. It’s The Tempest.

Krissie O. I don’t remember exactly. Just “such people” or
’such wondrous people’? Love the Tempest. Saw James Earl Jones as a green Caliban.

Lani D. “O brave new world: That has such people in’t!” The internet is a lovely thing.

Krissie O. indeed.

Jenny C. Excellent.

Lani D. Okay - I’m gonna go do the site. Anything else we need to talk about?

Jenny C. Nope. I’ll get the transcripts to you both. They can go up later in the week. All is good.

Lani D. Okay! Yay! I’m so excited. We are so wondrous. Night, girls.

Jenny C. Good night, goddesses.

Krissie O. Night Lani. Night Jenny.

D&G
People in this transcript

* Jenny Crusie
* Krissie Ohlrogge
* Lani Diane Rich